Alina: Yay!! I got God of War!! Time to play it!
Alina: Oooooh, hydra! SHINY!
(Five minutes later)
Alina: Stupid! Fucking! Archers!! Stop shooting my box!!!
Layne: They're shooting your what now?
(Often, over the next few days)
Alina: You want me to do what now? Oh, fuckin' hell... I'm going to check the walkthrough... It can't be THAT stupid...
Layne: (smirking) ...
Alina: Yup!! It -IS- that stupid... Ressing fressing... Stupid, stupid timed platform jumping...
(Somewhere in Pandora's Temple)
Alina: Hades' Balls!!
Layne: Wha---?
Alina: No, seriously. Look. They're flamey!
(Much later)
Alina: (unintelligible noise of anger)
Layne: What was that?
Alina: I said, stupid freaking spinning pillars. ARGH! Fuck!
Layne: Nothing like a nice, relaxing game after work, hmm?
Alina: DIE YOU STUPID FUCKING FLAMING ARCHERS!! Grrrraaaargh!
(Shortly thereafter)
Alina: Why does Ares have spider arms on his bac---Holy crap!! I have to fight ARES!! (button mashing...)
Alina: HAH! Eat that!! Uh oh, wait...
Alina: AAAAAAAGH! Now I have to fight me - no, wait, zombie-me! Aaaaagh!
Alina: You... Will.... Not... Have... My... Family!!!
Layne: Maybe now is a good time for Hades' Army?
Alina: Used it already! Aaaaagh! Quickly...Must...group...hug!!!
(One climactic battle scene (and much frantic cursing) later)
Alina: HAH!!!! I win!!! Ooooh... Cutscene...
God of War: You have unlocked...
Alina: CONCEPT ART! Glee!
Layne: It says you've also unlocked God Mode... What is that?
Alina: Ludicrously hard. You do half damage, and your enemies do FIVE times their normal damage to you, and I swear about ten times as much and never get past the first box puzzle.
Layne: So, that's a no then?
Alina: ... Maybe in a bit.
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3 comments:
Reminds me of every single time I play any game to the end:) My cursing usually goes into a 'fake Scottish accent' instead of 'drunken pirate'.
I have to say... That's certainly a much cleaner response than I had playing the game...
If you haven't started it yet, the second one is much more enjoyable, if not even more so with the ridiculous difficulty.
Whatever you do, don't start a swear jar before playing...
Sounds like when my wife plays video games.
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